The Death of Zombies
by Twili Z
Summary: Leon stuck on the island...with a crazied zombied Luis, 'haven't came out of the closet yet' Krauser, and the grim reaper who speaks mostly Japanese!
1. Chapter 1

"The Death of Zombies"

By: ZurikoTheGrimReaper

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or the story (wish thought), but only my own character, Zuriko Hykushi.

(Note: He's passed the village part, the castle part, and now, he's on the island. If only he had a little help with it…cough anywayyy…now he stands, on his final mission. TO SAVE A FUCKING GIRL!!!)

(Standing near a rock, hiding from the stupid ass zombies, stood Leon S. Kennedy… )

Leon: Alright, There's a J.J, lots of Ganados, and lots and LOTS of fucking idiots! Maybe if I just run by them without anyone noticing I'm he-

??: HEY LEON!!

Leon: Hm?

(shocked)

Leon: GASP! OMG!!! **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!**

**ZOMBIE!!!**

??: No, no!! It's me! Luis!!

Leon: Wait! Luis? Do you mean the SAME Luis that got stabbed by Saddler in the castle and died there on the floor bleeding all over me!?!?

Luis: Yep, one in the same…

Leon: oh! …well…Then…why are you still alive? It was pretty obvious that you died…

Luis: Well, funny story really, I was just laying there, dead and all, when all of a sudden, the las plagas that was SUPPOSELY dead inside me came back to life, ate at my insides, and turned me into a blood-sucking Ganado!

Leon: (disgusted) Eww…that's gross, dude.

Luis: I know.

Leon: Wait! Wait a minute! If you're a zombie now, why are you not trying to eat my brains or something?!

Luis: Oh good lord, man! I'd evolved MORE than eating Brains!! I eat human flesh now! 

Leon: …

Luis: Oh come on! I would never do that to ya, amigo! Unless you tempted me that is…

Leon: Uhhh, OKAY! another question! Umm…(thinking) If you were at the castle, than why are you here on the island now?

Luis: OH! That's easy, amigo! I just wanted ta find ya and turn ya into a blood-sucking Ganado, like myself, and love ya forever as my sex slave!

Leon: (twitching)

(takes out his gun)

Luis: Hey wait…What are ya doi-

**BANG!**

Leon: HAH! Sexy THAT, Bitch!

(walking away from Luis's twitching body.)

Leon: Geeze! You think that guy would learn after he died three times, but nooo! Humph, Asshole! Wished I never saved his ass from the closet!!

(Sits back near his rock)

Leon: God, why did I even bother with him?

(tap tap)

Leon! What the…?!

(Turns around)

Leon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! OMFG!! YOUR **STILL **ALIVE!?!

Luis: Uhh…yah, Zombie remember? Besides, Leon, why did ya shoot me in the head?

Leon: Because I wanted too! God, Luis!! I thought the Dead STAY dead!!!

Luis: Yah, and that's where the term 'Zombies' come from. Ya know, like the 'Undead' that comes from Zelda? Seriously, amigo! I thought ya were smarter than that!

Leon: When hell freezes over and I go ice-skating on Satan's body is when I laugh at that and marry you, AMIGO.

Luis: Touche', (I'll wait for that to happen.)But listen ta me, Leon! This island is more terrifying than the chainsaw killers! There's a lot of ganados and Regenerators!

Leon: Regen…erators?

Luis: Yes!

Leon: Uhhh…What's that?

Luis: (sweat drop) Omg…

Leon: Hey! Sorry! I haven't gotten that far yet in the game!

Luis: Well, if ya didn't flunt yer perfectly-sexy body, that wouldn't be a problem!

Leon: Wait...What do you mean by that?

Luis: (rubbing temples) okay, for example. Ever wonder why all those zombies kept grabbing ya and trying to capture ya fer no point of reason?

Leon:... yah?

Leon: Think about it...

Leon: ...OMG!!

Luis: right...

Leon: You perverts!!!

(To be continued...)


	2. Chapter 2

"The Death of Zombies"

Disclaimer: once again, none of these characters are mine…except for the Grim Reaper, of course. Oh, and I forgot to mention in the first Chapter that this is base on my own comic that I made from RE4. So enjoy!

(Standing near the rock where Leon once was, our…ummm…Heroes are talking about what happened in Chapter one.)

Leon: OMFG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF **PREVERTS**!!

Luis: No, we're not! it's just all the zombies that are.

Leon: What?! But you're a zombie too!

(Starts sobbing)

Leon: Whaaa…GHz goddd, why does this always happen to meee??

Luis: Pttf…wimp.

Leon: Oh, Shut up you! I'm just…just emotional right now!!!

Luis: What? Are ya PMSing or somethin?

Leon: (looks up) What?

Luis: (shacking hands) Oh, Ferget it. Right now, we need ta go save that bitch ya mentioned earlier, like, when we we're kidnapped and almost killed by a raging-perverted zombie or whatever…

Leon: (shocked) What?! He was perverted too?!

Luis: Uh…sort of…yah…

Leon: (stares in disbelief)

Luis: (Coughs) Anyhow, lets get goin. I know a couple of ways in and out of this god-fersaken island. And also a few beds that are lyin around…

Leon: (growls)

Luis: Whoa. Down doggy. (Said cutely) Does doggy want a biscuit?

Leon: Screw you…

Luis: I Wish. Really I wish.

Leon: (gets up) So… (Looks at Luis) If your going to help me with my search for that bitch. What type of gun do you have with you? Yah know, besides that stupid Red9 of yours...

Luis: (remembering) Oh, yah! I **do** have another gun ya might like! (Reaches into his pocket)

Leon: Really?

Luis: Yah. (Pulls out a huge automatic sniper rifle, one that can't fit into a pocket) Hehe. Say hello to my little friend…Amigo.

Leon: (eyes wide with shock) WHOA! Luis!! That's an AWSOME **gun**!!! With that, we'll **never **have to worry about getting-

(All of a sudden, millions of Ganados surrounded Leon and Luis. With all their guns pointed at them.)

Leon: (looks around) (gulps) uhhh…captured?

Luis: (also looks around) Uh, Leon? I think we're a little out numbered…

Leon: Oh, Naw SHIT! We have to find a way to get rid of all these **Ganados**!!!

Luis: (holds up his gun) Hehe…Leave it ta me, Amigo.

(Someone shoots Luis's gun out of his hand.)

Luis: …uhhh

(Looks at his empty hand)

Luis: …sorry Amigo, I lost the gun. Spooky, huh? Probably in orbit right now. Floating…around.

Leon: Argh, dammit! And that was a nice gun, too.

(Pulls out his Red9)

Leon: ALRIGHT!! DIE ALL YOU SON OF **BITCHES**!!! DIE!!!

(Someone shoots Leon's Red9 out of his hand)

Leon: Argh!

(Luis and Leon looks at Leon's empty hand.)

Luis:…uhhh

Leon: (looks at Luis) …Well! We're screwed! I hope ya live happily as a zombie!

Luis: Uhhh…thanks?

(All of a sudden, someone comes up behind Leon and Luis and knocks them out)

_**LATER**_

(Leon and Luis are sitting in a cell, near to the wall, with their hands tied. Leon looks pissed and Luis is just whistling 'it's raining men')

Leon: (breaking the silence) **I HATE YOU, LUIS**. AndI hope you die with your dick in your ass!

Luis: (stops whistling) Hehehe…Don't ya mean my dick in your **ass**, Amigo?

Leon: Humph! Please. All I want to do right now is to find a way out of this shit-hole, and go save-

(Notice Luis looking at him romantically.)

Leon: Uhhh…that Bitch. Ummm…why are you staring at me like that?

Luis: (still staring) Ya know, Leon, I was wonderin. Do ya know what happens if two guys are stuck in a cell together, and one of them is gay?

Leon: (looks in a panic) Uhhh…noo…why?

Luis: Well, they do something like (reaches for Leon) **THIS!!!**

Leon: AHHHHHH!!!! NOOOOOo!!! Ahhhh!!!...ohhhh..

_**MUCH LATER**_

Leon: AHHHH!!! NOooo!! Stop!!! Luis!!

Luis: Come on, just say it!

Leon: (looks up with pleading eyes) F-Fine!! I will!! Luis! Your soooo much better at **POKER** than I am!!! (Looks down at his cards in defeat)

Luis: (holding up his cards) (says smuggishly) Hehe…Yah, I know. What do ya think Spainards do in their free time?

Leon: (Shrugs) Oh, I don't know. Rape an innocent cop with a gay hair-do maybe?

Luis: (looks at Leon) No, not likely.

Leon: (stares) …oh.

Luis: …But Hey! For me beaten ya soooo many times at poker, why not give me a kiss? Eh, lover?

(Leon twitches with anger)

Luis: Uhhh…Leon? I was just kiddi-

_**POW!**_

Leon: ARGH!! DAMMIT! Stop thinking I want you!

(Punches Luis again)

Leon: I'M NOT GAY!

Luis: (Blocks one of Leon's hits) Okay! OKAY! I believe ya! Damn…

(Leon, out of breath, notices while he was punching Luis, he got his hands untied)

Leon: Whoa! SWEET! Now to go save that bitch!

(Walks off. Leaving Luis behind him still untied)

Luis: (Looks in panic) Hey, wait! Are ya fergetin about a CERTAIN **ZOMBIE**!?!

Leon: (Sighs) Shit…Thought he wouldn't notice...

Luis: What did ya say?!

(To be continue…But wait! Krauser enters in the next one!)

**Extras:**

**Zuriko: Dammit! When do I enter, ya faggots?! I want ta start killin ya off one by one!!! Just like in Legend of the Trifrorce and FouR WorldS!!**

**Leon: Uhhh...Soon...just, hold on a moment. **

**Kauser: Yah, so shut up, sit quiet, ya shorty, and wait for your turn! I mean, my turn is in the next one! Yours is...probably in the forth or fifth one...**

**Zuriko: (growls) Chikusho, Kuso no baka!! (Takes out scythe)**

**Both: Oh Crap...**

**See you in the next one!!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Again, this isn't mine, (except the Grim Reaper) and once again, this IS based on my comic about RE4. Enjoy!

* * *

(Inside the main building on the island, right outside the Freezer Room (creepiest part of the game) our heroes are…umm…trying to open the door; without a key.)

Leon: OMFG!! This is JUST GREAT!!!

(Kicks the door)

Luis: (behind Leon, who was looking at his ass; looks up) …What?

Leon: (Frustrated) Just think about it Luis, (growls) I'm SLAVING away, trying to save this BITCH from certain hell and doom-

(Stares at the door with pure hate)

Leon: And this stupid FUCKING DOOR IS FUCKING **JAMMED**!!!

Luis: (looks at the door) Or needs a key…

Leon: (snaps) AHHHHHHHHH!!!

(Starts kicking the door repeatedly.)

Leon: Argh!! Stupid Fucking DOOR!!!

(Kicks it some more)

Luis: (noticing this won't end soon, looks at the other side to see another hallway) …Hey, Leon…

Leon: (Still pissed) AHHHHH!!!! BURN IN HELL!!! **DOOR HELL**!!! **BLAHAHAHAHA!!!! **(Laughs evilly)

Luis: (Frustrated) Leon! HEY! **Leon**!!!

Leon: (stops, looks at Luis with pure hatred) **WHAT!**?!? WHAT THE **FUCK** DO YOU WHAT!?!

Luis: (Backs off a little) Whoa! Damn, dude!! Calm down! (Points towards the other end of the hall) I just wanted ta say ta ya that there's another hallway (looks at Leon) …And if I'm correct, there's probably a key down there for this door.

Leon: ….What?

(looks at the another hallway)

…and WHY didn't you tell me **THIS** before? Sure would of save a lot of hell…

Luis: (Grins) Cause, it was fun watchin ya act like Sanji from One Piece!

Leon: (stares at Luis with disbelief) Omg...you fucking suck…

Luis: Heh. I know! (winks)

Leon: (realizes something) Hey, wait a minute! How is it you know that there's a key down that hallway?

Luis: Oh? Well! It memory serves right; there's a room down there with my notes in it! And an empty bed fer the two of us to cuddle…(Grins)

(All of a sudden, as random as this story gets, someone runs towards Leon from behind)

???: HEY!! NOT SO FAST, LEON!!

Leon: (Gasp) OMG! I know that voice! Could it be…?!

(Looks behind him)

Leon: OMFG!!! IT'S YOU!!! ITS…ITS!!!

???: OMG…Krauser, ya idiot! Say it right!

Leon: (Confused) Wait a minute…Krauser? Why does that sound familiar? Hmmm…(Clicks) AHHH!!! **KRAUSER**!!! OMFG!!! WHAT ARE **YOU** DOING HERE!?! AND STILL **ALIVE**!?!?!

Luis: (Shocked) Wait…Krauser?! Oh crap…(moves away from the two)

Krauser: (Smiles smuggishly) Hey, Leon! Long time, no die!! Still full of energy, eh, Leon? (Grins) Well that's nice a dandy, but I am here to kill you as of now and later to take the sample from Lord Saddler's greedy little han-

(Notices Luis)

Krauser: (shocked) OMG!! IT'S YOU!!

Luis: (looks around him) Hm? Yah, me?

Krauser: (angrily) Yah! YOU!! You're Luis Sera!!! (Points at him) You're the BASTARD who ABANDONED me on this GOD-FOR-SAKEN Island with HUNDERDS of ganados attacking me!!! I'm lucky to of survive that on-slot only to find out that this Zombie-Spaniard left me to DIEEEE!!!!

Leon: (confused) Huh? Abandoned? Left to die? What?

Luis: (panics, but shrugs it off) Hah ha ha. I have no clue what he's sayin! (Twitches)

Krauser: Oh? (With a gleam in his eye)...You think so? Then what about-

(Pulls out a comic book made by me.)

Krauser: (Lifts it over his head) -THIS!!! BLAHAHAH!

(Leon and Luis stare at it)

Leon and Luis: Hm?

Leon: Hey, it says "The Death of Zombies 4."(Points at the top of the comic) Right here.

Luis: (feeling sick) Oh god…there's a forth one? Fucckkkk…It'll never enddd…

Leon: Shut it.

Krauser: (noticing his mistake) Whoops…. (Little embarrassed) Uhhh… My bad. That's the next chapter…hehehe. How did I get that? (Puts it back)

(Pulls out another comic)

Krauser: -THIS!!! Title: **Before** the Death of Zombies!!!

Leon: Hey! (Snatches the comic from Krauser's hand) Let me see that!

Krauser: Hey, wait a minute…

(Leon starts reading the comic)

Leon: Hey, It says here that Luis had something else to do, so he left **you **to go find it! (Turns toward Krauser) While you, Jack Krauser, were left to fight with a **PONY** that **Saddler** gave to you?!

Like I said. RANDOM!

Krauser: (fluster) Uhhh…well…you see…that pony…uhh…actually died in the line of fire, so, yah…

Leon: (confused) What? What are you talking about?

Luis: Amigo, he don't know, the author hasn't decided on that comic yet!

Leon: (looks to see Luis) Oh…is that so?

(Switches to another setting. Me and Leon are arguing about the unknown comic)

Leon: Hey! Author! Can't you TYPE and **faster**!?!

Me (Nikki) : ARGH! Ya impatient bastard!! Come here again and I'll erase yer ass!!!!

(Swaps Goes back to Krauser, Luis, and Leon, though, Leon looks slightly disturbed.)

Leon: HAHAH…Wow…that's ONE persuasive author!

Krauser: Huh? (looks at Leon) What are you talking about?

Luis: Really, Amigo. What do ya mean by 'author?'

Leon: (Sighs) Never mind…

(Leon looks at the other hallway (if anyone has forgotten))

Leon: (Grins) So, where's that key?

(To be continued…)

**EXTRAS!!!**

**Nikki: OMG!! I finally finished my third chapter!! I'm soooo HAPPY!!! (Cries)**

**Zuriko: (Growls) Oh, shut it, Nikki! When do ****I**** appear?!! I'm one of the main characters too, ya know!!! **

**(Thinks for a moment) **

**Zuriko: Wait…am I?**

**(Grumbles)**

**Krauser: Ahhh…Zuriko, Zuriko. (Pats Zuriko over the shoulder.) I just have one thing to say to you.**

**(Long Pause)**

**Zuriko: …Andddd…what's that?**

**Krauser: (Chuckles) Heheheh…Well, just That I FINALLY APPEARED IN THE STORY!!! YAYYY!!! HAHAHA!!! IN YOUR FACE, GRIM REAPER!!!!**

**(Cheers)**

**Zuriko: (Enraged) AHHHHH!!! I'LL FUCKIN KEEL YA!!!!!**

**(Grabs Krauser and starts chocking him)**

**Nikki: (Shacks her head) Oh, Crap. Not again!! Well! See ya everyone in the next Chapter!! (looks at Zuriko) (Shocked) Oh fuck! Zuriko!! Put down that Chainsaw!!! I said put it DOWN!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Again, none of these characters are mine except for my cute little Grim Reaper! Who actually won't appear until the next one! Oh well...I love him anyway...Right now I'm on my last issue of this series that I started. So enjoy!

* * *

(Now joining the crew, Krauser, Leon and Luis head toward the room...for the key...again...) 

Krauser: (waving in front of him) WHOA...it really smells in here (looks at Luis) Did you pass gas or is your rotting corpse...rotting?

Luis: Oh! Well! yer one ta talk, Krauser!

Krauser: (confused) But...I'm not dead...

Leon: (annoyed) Argh, just shut up ya'll two! We're almost there!

(Leon walks ahead while Krauser and Luis stay alittle behind.)

Luis: (turns to Krauser) By the way, Krauser, why haven't ya killed us yet? Weren't ya sent here ta assassinate Leon or somethin?

Krauser (smugged) Oh! So you do want die? I mean, I'm still mad about what you did back there, but all is forgiven. Unless ya'll want to be dead, rotting and getting eaten by worms alive while I bury you in a 6 feet hole with no way out!

Luis: (shock)

(Leon, looking on a computer, finds something)

Leon: Hey! GUYS! I found something on here!

Krauser and Luis: He did?

(Walks over to Leon, Luis looks first)

Luis: Oh! Is it a Luis x Leon site?

Leon: Yah, but it's in the favorites folde-

(Realization struck him)

Leon: HEY!

Luis: (grinning) Heh heh, sorry, amigo, must be MY computer...

**POW!**

(Luis is struck into a wall, while Krauser and Leon look on the computer together...at short distances...)

Krauser: Find anything useful?

Leon: (irritated) No, not really! There's too many yaoi sites on here!!

(Krauser, not realizing what's he doing, sniffs Leon's hair)

Leon: But then again, this IS Luis's computer...

(reality strikes him, and he jolts backwards)

Krauser: 'OMG! WHAT THE HELL AN I DOING!?!? Jack Krauser is NOT gay! But his hair smells good...'

Leon: (not noticing) Though, I wonder where he gets these sites? Are people into yaoi? I like yuri... Hm...oh well! a pervert is always a pervert, I guess!

(Krauser turns away from Leon, and looks through a window. Not noticing the sleeping Regenerator inside it.)

Krauser: 'NO! MUST KEEP IN CONTROL! Must KEEP control! (looks up)

(NOW notices the sleeping regenerator inside it)

Krauser: GASP!

Leon: But then again...-

Krauser: AHHHHHHHHH!!! OH MY FUCKING **GOD**!!!! WHAT THE FUCK **IS **THAT?!?!

Leon: (eyeing Krauser with the corner of his eye) Hm? (turns to him) what?! What's wrong, Krauser?!

Krauser: (in complete shock) LOOK! LOOK AT THE WINDOW!!

Leon: (looking at the window) Krauser, I don't see anythin- (sees the monster) AHHHHHHHHH!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!?

Krauser: Hey! That's exactly what I said!

(turns to not look at it)

Krauser: Well, from what I can tell...it looks like one of saddler's fail experiments. It's probably dead, so it won't attack us-

(looks at Leon's face, notices he's on the brink to tears)

Krauser: (twitch)...'and YOU'RE THE president's protector?'

(looks at Leon more)

Krauser: '...but then again. He's cute like that...all teary-eyes and-

(noticing what's he's thinking)

Krauser: 'ACK! WHAT AM I THINKING! Leon's a guy!'

Leon: Hm? what? Was I TOO cute?

(Krauser runs alittle away from Leon, not realizing Luis in front of him)

Krauser: '...Oh shit, what's he smiling about?!'

Luis: (smiling, and talking in a singing way) Tee-hee! Your in Denial!

Krauser!!! What!?!? Why you little...!

**POW!**

(Luis on the ground with blood coming out of his head...)

Krauser: Grrr...NEVER say THAT **AGAIN** AS long as you LIVE!!!!

Luis: (twitching)'Ack! why me?!'

Leon: (noticing something) OH! WHAT'S THAT?!

(To be continue...)

* * *

Twili Z: Hey, everyone! thank you fer reading this! I really...uhhh...whatever at it! Domo Arigato!

Zuriko: Dare-ni mutate mono itten-dayo!? Baka yamero-yo! Kawaiso...

Everyone else: ...

Twili Z: Anyway...I'm about done with the comic side of this. Wow...kinda creepy. Even though right now there's no plot, I hope one DOES develop...in time. heheh

Krauser: Wait...don't I get raped by a regenerator?

Zuriko: Ya da, And don't I get raped by a headless Luis when it was I who ripped his head off in the first place?

Twili Z: Uhhh...maybe...well! Talk to ya laters! Bye! (sorry! I was in a rush!)


End file.
